Absence explained

Presently in New York City trying to catch a glimpse of Tina Fey. So far only have seen crazy people. Remaining hopeful.

I've learned a few things here in the past week. Among them:

1) The NYU student body is undernourished, oversmoked, and way too sure that they're on to something. They are fun to watch.

2) It's time to get a bike, because it's a clean and cheap way to move around, and because bikes are highly fashionable right now. So if your shirt is from last season and your shoes are lame, you can ride a bike, and pretty much come out even.

3) Speaking of shoes, everyone here has fancy sneakers. In Hawaii and California, if you have fancy sneakers, you're overdressed and people think you're a hip-hop star. In New York, if you don't have snazzy shoes, people know you're NOT a hip-hop star so they spit their gum at you. I gotta get me these New Balance M410's:

Once I have them and my rap career takes off, I'll get signed to Brushfire Records, tour with Mickey Avalon and do benefit shows for endangered sandcrabs. Stay tuned, I spit hot fire.